This season can be insane. Truly. I feel like the second the calendar flips to December so many of us begin to unravel a tad. It's easy to feel like our holiday will never be 'enough.' We won't cook enough, or gift enough, rest enough, decorate enough, celebrate enough, visit enough, you name it- its a ripe time for feeling like shit about your ability to spin 20392832 plates.
And this season is only made tougher by social media. As much amazing incredible good it can do, it can also leave us in a comparison spiral. I can picture you now, sipping a glass of wine, sitting on the couch and scrolling through Facebook. Filled with the perfect tree, celebrations, roasts, gift wrapping, holiday outfits, engagement announcements, baby reveals and general merriment.
Behind every freaking perfect photo you see this season. There's a shitstorm. Trust me. Let us ALL remember how we too are sharing the most highlighted and curated moments. The ugly ones when you are sobbing in your bed and pulling the covers over your head and wishing it just to all go away don't make your facebook home page.
So this week. These next 10 days. I challenge you to please remember the shitstorm. Both your own, and everyone else. The holidays can be a tough time for a gazillion reasons. But lets both commit to knowing that photos and moments shared are highlights and our real life is still beautiful, its just messy and unedited more often than not.
I find that if you acknowledge this. If you can openly say that your life is not perfect and that there's a raging shitstorm, you're in a good place. I worry when I see people who can't admit it. Cannot let anything go wrong, or not be perfect. Who cannot lessen the death grip of control and edited perfection. That's where it can be trouble. It's ok.
And a note on shitstorms. There are major ones. And minor ones. A major one can be suffering through a holiday season when you just lost someone you love. A minor one can be having to sit at the Christmas table and someone has 2 drinks and asks you once again if you have a life plan, are dating anyone at all? anyone? or has the nerve to mention what they think you should do with your life.
Regardless of how major or minor a storm you're in. You've got this. Because remember- it really is a special time of the year.
Chances are you have a few days off work. Chances are you'll get to see people you love. Perhaps you'll enjoy a delicious meal together, or get to watch a movie, go for a walk, visit people or explore together. Not into the people thing? Sleep in. Have a cookie. Go to bed early. Snowshoe. Go for a swim. Read a book. The list is neverending.
Keeping the holidays simple for us this year was important to me. In year's past, I've seen how perfect everyone else's holiday is and started to unravel a bit. 'Holy shit I should have bought more gifts, decorated more, had a party,' you name it- I've thought of it.
Instead, I committed to only allowing myself ONE TUB of Christmas Decor. Thats it. And I bring the tub up from the basement. And I fill it with the stuff that is going away for the season (helps with clutter) and I set everything up. It takes me 20 minutes. The tree is MOST important to me. So we decorated the tree really early this year. And that is that. The wreath on the barn is also super important to me. So we put that up. No more.
For gifts. I keep it simple too. Buying early for everyone who I need to buy for. Wrapping everything in the same wrapping paper as last year, and calling it good.
I know one day when I'm a mom I will need to reread this post. Because hell if I won't be batshit crazy with trying to make the most perfect magical holiday ever for my kids. My mom did that for us. It was like a movie. But one thing I'm really proud of is that it always came back to family and food and loud music and good lighting. We didn't go to see santa 10 times or make cookies, gingerbread houses, orange garland AND snowflake garland. We made cookies some years. We saw Santa one time each year. But we always always had a tree with lights and a big meal and watched "Its a Wonderful Life."
Be easy on yourself my friends. Please. Remember that you won't remember the stuff that you're having a hard time making happen right now. You will remember who you were with and how present you were.
Let's put down our phones a bit more and go for long walks and make a strong cocktail and sit by a fire and let's be gentle to ourselves.
It is afterall just a week. And then, we'll wait until next year.
Happy Merry Everything my sweets