Labor Day. That means, unofficially, Summer is over. The weather has officially reached the status of: perfect. Matt is back to school & the tips of the leaves are turning.
It feels like actually yesterday that we woke up on the morning of the planting party and I rolled over and told Matt I didn't want anyone to come over, I didn't want to plant the lavender and I didn't want to leave the bed. Sometimes, when I've gotten myself neck deep in some social event that I'm responsible for, I have these last minute moments where I wish I hadn't gotten so freaking involved and tooted my horn so loudly. Matt calls this the 'party thing' I have.
Before almost every single party we host, whether it be dinner for 10 or an industry cocktail party for 75, this exact exchange happens:
"I am so stressed this is SO DUMB why did I agree to do this, next time, don't let me do this, shit, oh hell, I hate this. OUR HOUSE IS DIRTY. Maybe I can cancel?"
((party starts, everything is really fun and perfect and my insecurities about dustballs in our home are really stupid because what matters is people enjoying their time))
(Kalin whispers to Matt) "I love hosting parties, this is so fun!"
That is exactly how I feel about Summer. There were a lot of moments when I didn't think I could possibly go on another day, and now I'm sad/ready/excited/emo about seeing it go.
Northern Michigan is SO seasonal that nearly every person I know feels the same way. We all need the summer to make a living, but near the end of it, we are sort of relieved to see the crowds drop a bit and the traffic lighten up. By no means is the season over. The only true marker of the season being over is when I can leave my car RUNNING in the street and run into grab my coffee & the only other person I see is the guy at the register. Other true markers? When there is no line at Meijer, when you can hang out with your friends who live here again, when a couple of the ice cream shops close for the season & when our road quiets down.
Like any young couple hell-bent on fixing up an old farm, I thought our to-do list would get a bit shorter after this summer. But what I learned is, every single project takes 10 times longer than I anticipate. Then I learned how freaking expensive a lot of projects are. Then I learned that if I want to stay married, we cannot possibly work 18 hour days 7 days a week. And so, we found a slow, intentional, productive routine, and the to-do list got longer.
There were some epic successes: the lavender did so well I cannot freaking believe it. All our brides were happy, beautiful and their day to celebrate featured flower work that I am truly proud of, the farm really does look 100 times better, The Gather Series changed my life. We made amazing friends. I got really good at mowing the lawn & we still made time to swim, boat, drink wine & kiss.
There were hella epic failures: the flower sign Egan made me blew off in a storm and I still haven't fixed it and put it back up on the shed, the barn still has stuff in it on the first floor, I should have planted more sunflowers, I have basically totally fallen out of communication with my friends who do not live nearby, we still cannot park 2 cars in our garage because its still packed with stuff that was there when we bought the farm, I couldn't keep my big mouth shut so when I told the dumpster company I was unhappy with the customer service, they came and took our dumpster away (bullies).
But this: I freaking designed my face off. I poured blood, sweat, and plenty of tears into the flower studio this summer, the farm, our relationship. It has been a wild wild wild freaking 3 months. Some of the best design work I've ever done happened this summer, and we have lots of happy brides to prove it. Some of my best work is still to come as we move into a packed September and October. And then, we rest. (Not really, you know us.) ((post on that later)).
Cofffee. Thanks for existing.
Body. Thanks for reminding me when I need to just go to bed, because if I do 'one more thing' I will collapse.
Mom. Thanks for always bringing us food when its really ugly here & letting us sleep at the house when it was hotter than hell. #momhasac
Brides. Thank you for loving on us and understanding what we do. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of what I hope is the happiest day of your life thus far. Thank you for hugging us, and speaking kindly of this tribe, but most of all- thanks for being people we want to call our friends.
Everyone who visited/worked/sweat their ass off/stopped by to leave me treats: there are a LOT of people who just dropped by this summer. Whether I met you at our garage sale, or you left me pretzels and mustard on our porch because you heard in town thats my favorite snack (actually true story), thank you thank you for saying you love this place & extending kindness.
Matt. Thanks for communicating with me openly every single day. Thanks for making me scrambled eggs without asking while I answer emails each morning & thanks for not ever judging the fact that I have not cooked us dinner more than 4 times this summer and we ate way too much pizza. But in all seriousness and sappy love story stuff: thanks for being my partner in this crazy adventure.
You. Thanks for reading this blog, and listening, and liking, commenting, sharing, whatever it is you do. I can never really put my finger on what exactly is driving me to do all of this. But I can say, that the support from the people who are following this journey has been the motivating force in us when it's so hard I want to quit.