As I write this there is an email draft in my inbox to Matt. It says this exact line "here are some things I would love to communicate about when you get home tonight if you feel up to it after the long day"
I'm sending my husband a list of talking points we need to have to set ourselves for the week, weekend, month and year ahead. Seriously. One of them is about this weekend (we need Sunday just us) one of them is about this month (celebrating a friend's birthday) one of them is about this year (crunching some business numbers) and one of them is about this summer (workflow question for farm and summer staff) .
Sending an email. With talking points. To my life partner.
The man who crawls in bed beside me every night. The man who went and bought me coffee creamer when it was -17 out on Saturday morning at 8am because I "just CANNOT do these bridal calls without my half and half" (ew. diva) The man who trudged out into our back fields where the snow is god-only-knows how deep, in his pjs, when the dog scaled a snowbank and it allowed her to just simply walk over the fence and I was freaking out and she was freaking out because she couldn't get back to us. (don't call them bernese mountain dogs for nothing).
I guess the email thing could make me sad. But that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because it makes me happy. I could bitch and moan about how our schedules are so different, or about how Matt works nights, or how its unfair we don't see one another. But none of that is true. Life isn't 'fair and unfair' in my opinion, its about how you react to the situation in front of you at that exact moment. And the part that makes me happiest? We both love what we do. And if it takes us away from one another for the dinner hour most nights but we are better people because we love what's taking us away more than we love chicken, a veggie & rice then it's good for us.
If you want to live where you want to live and create the legacy you want to create, guess what? You're going to have to work nights and weekends and long hours and this and that.
What makes me so happy about this. Is the fact that this is how it is for us. That we work, a lot, for the things we want to create.
There are some major challenges ahead for us here at the farm. This summer will be our biggest one yet. Managing how the workflow ebbs and flows with weddings, plantings, gardens, etc. etc..
When I look at our summer calendar- I can choose to be two things : scared out of my mind (there are moments) or excited to take this on with Matt and start building exactly what we dream of for this space. I choose the latter, because it's a hell of a lot more fun than fear. Plus, we signed up for this adventure together, so that's how we'll tackle it. That, and emails with talking point lists.