Oh good lord this is nice. The coffee is hot. I'm writing to you from the couch. Pup at my feet and its a movie-set worthy grey and rainy day. I feel like I should be wearing a petticoat and running across and English moor to my beloved on horseback. You get the visual I'm sure.
I spent much of yesterday designing alongside two awesome women. They are growers and designers and farmers and all the flower things I love- but they are looking to move into weddings this season and wanted to see first hand how I do things.
When I started the business, I had read a LOT of books and blogs and watched all the youtube videos about what NOT do to when you own a business. There are obvious ones like - screw over your customers, lie cheat and steal, be untrustworthy -those are pretty clear not only in business but also in life.
But one thing I see as a reoccurring theme over and over in this creative sphere is this obsession with not showing all of our cards. Being helpful but not TOO helpful. Mentor people but don't tell them EVERYTHING. It's interesting because I feel I get more when I give more.
When one of us does well locally in the wedding industry - we all do well. Its simple as that. I am all about helping and teaching and connecting and sharing and answering the weird text and instagram questions and empowering everyone. One of our beloved #StemsSquad ladies from last year is flowering her ass off in Detroit right now and actually killing it. The weekend of her first wedding I was answering all the questions- happily. I want others to succeed. She nailed it. Not because I helped her. Not because I taught her. Because she did the work herself. But you know what helped? That I believe in her. Can you imagine trying to build something up you love and believe in yourself but know that others out there don't want that for you? EW. The energy you put out towards others is real people, and reflected in their ability to do the work and call it awesome & it also reflects back on you about the success you have in this world.
NOW. I am not all butterflies and rainbows. We all know this. I hate bullies and baddies and assholes and people who are two-faced and wanna start shit for no reason. Not cool. I'm also a businesswoman so I'm not out there giving away all the keys to the castle for free- but I'm not 'forgetting' to answer a text asking me where I get my vases from. I'm not charging people who email me asking for advice. I'm not billing women who want to meet for coffee and discuss their business plan and I'm sketching out package ideas on a napkin for them. Because I love this. And because I believe in everyone having a fair shot at being able to do exactly what it is the hell they want to do.
All of our behavior is learned. And here is where I want to tell you why I am this way. My parents are the two most generous amazing people on this planet. They would literally do anything for anyone and not expect an ounce of anything in return. They are smart, hilarious, funny, hardworking & total #lifegoals. I grew up watching them host and love on everyone in their inner circle in a way that is SO authentic that it was authentic before using authentic was like the coolest most authentic word.
But they are also private. And I love that.
Someone in town the other day told me 'you must have a gazillion people over all the time!' I smiled and told them- not really. As much as I love, at my core, hosting special events with people and bringing people together to connect. I really love my family time. My inner circle. My sibling time. Thanksgiving when its just the 7 of us. My friends who see me bringing them a roast into the dining room while I'm crying from period cramps and wearing my yoga pants. When its just Matt Maple and I sitting outside burning a pile of brush and drinking wine. When its just me and my god daughter going for gelato on a warm Spring day. Yes I am wildly public about all of it -- but please know, that a lot of it is still just for me.
I chose to do it this way because I love watching others succeed. I love saying "you know who you need to meet...." and then months later they are collaborating. I love at The Gather Series strangers meet at a table and the next week are hugging at the farmers market.
Connection is one of the most beautiful, fruitful & easy human elements. Thanks for letting me connect with you right here.