on what you perceive.

I've gotten into a habit of on the most beautiful mornings I put on my boots and go walk around the yard with Maple for a second. It has to be right when the sun comes over the ridge, so it's usually around 7:10 am and its freezing cold out there. Because in Northern Michigan if the sun is shining and the snow is sparkling and there isn't a cloud in the sky in early March..... its cold. 

But here's the weirdest part. I walk out there in just my PJ top. Usually a sweatshirt. Thats it. No jacket, gloves, hat, mittens, none of it. Just a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and it feels totally fine. But today when I did it, it was -6 degrees out. ACTUAL TEMP. 

How is this possible? I'm the girl who makes everyone come to her some days in the winter because I don't like to go out there. I'm the girl who used to tell people in downtown Chicago walking in winter, "sir, you need something covering your neck." I'm the girl who once wore a coat in college that people actually called 'bear' because it looked like a giant bearskin. 

It's what we perceive.

On a Sunny Saturday when I have an awesome day ahead of me and life is great, I step out the door with a perception that all is well. I don't even give the temperature a moment in my mind. The brain is really amazing. 

Fast forward to when I'm running out the door late for something... it usually goes like this:

Kalin stomping around house. Can't find keys. Telling the dog, "i love you so much okay be back later you be good" stomping around some more. 'Shit where are those keys!" Finds keys in jacket pocket. Penguin walks (my fav in winter) out to van. Gets in van. Forgot water bottle. Cannot function without constant water consumption. "Shit!" March of the penguins back into the house. Grabs water. Notices a tulip that is still in a vase that has dropped all its petals. Feels like a shitty floral designer. Penguin March back to van. Get in van. "Jesus CHRISTTTT its cold out here!" Yells into the van for no reason. Shivers. Turns on Hamilton soundtrack. Shivering some more. Checks temperature on thingamadoo in van 'omg it's 15!' Calls Mom in Florida. Mom tells her 'its been so hot, nice to have a break with some clouds today' laughs in moms face / does a mental calculation of how many days she has until she gets to Florida and can say ridiculous lines like this. Tells mom to toughen up and come back to Michigan. Shivering. Swear at some asshat driving like a moron on the highway that is actually an ice rink. Arrive at destination. Stomp in muck boots in the door. Stomp to knock icky grey shit off boots. Winter.

Okay but wait. Didn't I just waltz outside listening to reggae in -6 with no bra, no real clothing and ENJOY IT?!

What we perceive. The energy you take into a situation is often times the energy you will get out. I'm working on this big time. I have a true cluster of a week ahead. I mean the kind where you are going 100mph from 8am on Monday until 5pm on Friday and I can choose to look at this in two ways:

Gonna be a cluster: always 15 minutes behind, driving too fast, rushed, disorganized, buying one too many caffeinated beverages, being a brat, staying up too late, skipping workouts and feeling off.

Gonna be a busy, fun, productive week doing what I love and just gonna go with the flow: commit to preparing ahead, taking it literally 1 day at a time, entering each meeting with a grateful heart, waking up a bit earlier every morning to get my shit in order. 

We wear busy like a badge of honor. We are all guilty of this. You reading this right now. Me writing this right now. It's like when we get to tell people we are busy it gives us validation. I'm giving up saying 'busy' for a week. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna replace it with, that's not the point, I want to stop using this word as a way to validate my own insecurities and 'keep up with the joneses.' 

So. That's my little rant / feeling bubble for the day. Take it or leave it. Join me in the 'banning busy' commitment this week? 

XO

K