on where we are at.

I typically come to the keys with a point to each blog post, a plan. Typical Kalin. Not this time, I've decided to just ramble a bit and see where it takes me. It's probably because I'm missing the Tuscan Goddesses, who this time last year, I was packing my bag and preparing to go meet. Those women taught me about 'banging the keys' as my mom would say. I didn't know it, but the writing retreat that  mom would invite me to join her on would change my life. 

I met more than a dozen women who all were so different, so complete opposites of one another, that somehow, under the tuscan sun, literally, at a working farm, we became an inseparable group. 

It was on that trip that I found out we didn't get the business loan we applied for to purchase an already operating lavender farm in Boyne City. We had poured our souls into the application and really thought the chances were on our side. I felt the Kalin Charm factor had reached new heights during our meeting with the bankers. But on a sketchy wifi connection from my twin bed in our room at the farm, I read that we were denied. I cried for exactly 2 minutes. 

This is not typical of me. Being let down so dramatically should call for hours of crying, weeping, wallowing, outbursts, wine, but instead it was a little sweet pretty cry and it was over. 

I am so glad we didn't take out that loan. 

We would be up to our eyeballs in payments, running somebody else's farm, somebody else's dream, and somebody else's established business. Instead, we found our little slice of heaven, took down some trees, mowed the shit out of the lawn and made Sweetwater Lavender Farm.

Are there days I wish the cars were just pulling in spending money? Are there days I wish we were in a different city? Are there days I wish we already had thousands of mature plants? Nope. We are exactly where we need to be right now. You are too.

For some reason this week my brain is on fire with dreams of the lavender side of the business for next season. Yoga in the lavender. Workshops in the barn. Farm Open Houses. You pick section in full bloom. Family portraits being taken here. And perhaps what I plan to work on the most, developing The Gather Series into an even more special event. I also want to find ways to market our setup of The Gather Series for private events. I see rehearsal dinners, girls night out, family dinners & friends from the lake getting together under the twinkle lights for a special evening. 

I don't know how we will do it all. But I do know this, we will. I often write about how overwhelmed I am by the support, and its true, I don't think I will ever be able to grasp the sheer love and 'good vibes' people are sending our way. I choose to focus on this. Because are there people who aren't supportive? Or happy? Or sending good vibes? Of course! But I can't focus on it, I can't let negativity get in this space. If I spent a lot of my time focusing on those who 'don't get it.' We wouldn't have made it this far in the 9 months we've had the farm.

Am I exhausted? Yes. Are you? Probably. 

Do I get overwhelmed by the entire thing most days? Of course. 

Do I wake up exactly where I want to be? Yes, and its awesome. 

You do you boo. 

xo

K