on a rainy july morning.

I've been waiting on this rain. A slow, steady, hours long summer rain. We need it. The grass is a bit crispy and this lovely storm will save us a couple hours of lugging hoses and watering sod and grass seed spots and the garden today. 

But above all else, it reminds me that this weather cannot stay forever. 

For the first time in a long time as I do my morning emails with hot coffee and giant dog laying at my feet, its dark in here. Like so dark I have a light on. I'm reminded of winter mornings, with my blankies on and socks and the furnace chugging along to warm up the house that we let get to 59 overnight. I'm reminded of spending a few hours hashing out an idea, which seems foreign right now. 

This season is for quick decisions. I yearn to sit and work on the Hygge retreat plan for next year, or wreath workshop dates, or some really awesome cool stuff we have planned for Christmas time here at the farm, but instead, survival mode means I clear an inbox and then start all over again tomorrow. 

The other day I had a moment where I got sad that everything felt stale. The website. The blog. The brand. My brain. But then I remembered that routine is not stale, its safe. And I'm keeping myself safe during our busy season. 

The risky out there bizarre 'lets see if this works' stuff is not for wedding season. Because wedding season is not about me. 

And that my friends, is the lesson. May-Oct is about our clients. These incredible couples who love one another and then love what we do and chose to have us a part of their day. The couples who give us so much grace when I write back "I am slammed this week, can we move this call to next Monday?" Our couples who write us thank you notes that make me cry and leave reviews on the internet that prove to the next summer's worth of couples that we can do it and we will and you'll love it. 

My summer is about them. 

So these crazy out there ideas and big announcement about Christmas at Sweetwater (well I just told ya the name) are for later. Because August September and October are right around the corner with absolutely gorgeous celebrations. 

Thanks for choosing us.

Clinks,

xo

K

 

on summer zooming by.

It would be really easy for me to get sad about summer flying by. It's so fleeting. So perfect. So sun drenched and filled with the most beautiful moments. But I'm not sad. Because the fleeting part, is what makes it so special. 

If everyday was Christmas Eve- it wouldn't feel special. Or the 4th of July, or your birthday, or your semi-annual visit with friends from around the country. We need these special snapshot seasons. So instead of being sad, I'm celebrating. 

June was our busiest single month ever for this business. We flowered for 12 events total. And maybe more crucial than getting the events out the door, was finding a flow with our team for the season. I'm happy to report that I could not have chosen a better crew. Anna & Egan hold down the studio in a way that leaves me confident and feeling so good. And Lily manages our orders so that I never worry. There are more people who jump in to help us, with teardowns and setup and processing and bringing us food and smoothies and treats. Constantly reminded that it takes a village. 

June was quick for you too. By the time summer really got 'rollin' we were sticking our flags in the window boxes and making plans for the 4th. You remarked to a friend "can't believe its July already" more than once, and on the high holy day we swam and drank and sang around a bonfire and ate 2 s'mores and stayed up past midnight. 

July is something else at this tiny farm. It's like someone flips a switch overnight and suddenly the days are passing at warp speed. It's 9:45pm and I'm hanging lavender to dry. 10:15pm and Matt is still mowing the lawn. 

The days are jammed with visitors dropping by to see the lavender and studio and this 'place in person' and I'm over that stuff where I sit and worry about what people think of this place. Is it underwhelming? Not as big as they thought? Not as beautiful? Don't care. It is my heart. My heart in physical location form. And I love it. 

In the winter, getting ready for bed is a meditative and slow process for me. I boil the water and steep the herbal tea. I slide into my alpaca socks and fuzzy long underwear. I wear a sweatshirt & knit while we watch Netflix. I read a chapter or two in a book. I click on the space heater. I look at the radar. "How much snow?" "Maybe need to move snow before school tomorrow." And I take my time. The darkness enveloping the farm at 5pm means that by 8 I am in dreamland. 

Last night I fell asleep with no blankets on me, my phone in my hand and glasses on my face. Soaking wet hair leaving a pool of shower water on our pillows. A box fan whirring in the room, Matt found me semi-conscious and pulled a blankie over me and turned off the light. That summer ebb & flow. 

We went on a date yesterday too. Met friends for a drink at 4:30 and I felt like we were cheating on the farm. We both wanted to go for a drive after dinner so we drove from Boyne City to Charlevoix for ice cream. We held hands. Matt remarked how we can never take this for granted, that we live here. 

And then we came home at 8pm and went back to work. I'm a big fan of this time of day to get stuff done because the sun is so much less intense. We are in the middle of lavender harvest and the landscaping fabric is so damn hot during the day that I can only go for a couple hours. But once the sun dips behind the barn, I can crank out 75+ bundles in no time. 

And so, a girl harvests lavender with a giant dog while a guy installs a sign and goes to home depot and then hops on a mower. And I think to myself all the time, "What do people do who don't have this kind of project? This kind of passion they are chasing?" They go out and see a movie, and they cook dinner (a winter time only activity around here it seems) and they cuddle their babies and they decompress after a long day of work. They unwind. 

I'm proud of us for finding the balance. For making it a priority. I know it isn't easy for Matt to leave for 3 hrs of daylight when the weather is perfect. But I need that time. For us to be normal. 

And someone told me the other day I must be so tired. I must be so exhausted. And sure- some days I am. But this is what we do. And hey- January - March, those months are for rest.

 

xo

K

 

on whole30

I'm starting this blog post on my first day of Whole30 which happens to be my birthday. I'm trying to 'reframe my mindset' that this is a gift to myself. I decided to keep this open in my drafts folder all month and bounce in here on occasion for a daily update. It'll be a lot more real than me writing on Day 30 how freaking great I feel because I know this won't be easy. 

Oh PS- I am only slightly embarrassed how many people have texted me Happy Birthday with wine and champagne emojis and notes like 'enjoy all the wine tonight' --- 30 days without is probably way overdue. 

Peace & Blessings. 

DAY 1: Its my birthday I sleep in a bit. I"m emotional because I'm home alone most of today so my piss poor attitude is a little EW. However, I am pleasantly surprised by how delicious NutPods 1/2 & 1/2 in my coffee is. Its the Whole30 version of 'people who are addicted to organic 1/2 and 1/2' its good! Mom and I snort laugh on the phone for a good ten minutes about NutPod jokes like we are 12 years old. I make eggs for breakfast and I'm surviving thus far. Egan just called me and said 'have you quit yet?' I'm 4 hours in. 

DAY 1 UPDATE: Jules and Anne surprised me with a Whole30 birthday lunch here at the house. I almost cried because I was so grateful. Friendship rules. 

DAY 3: I'm doing pretty well. I miss wine. The afternoon is the toughest for me, I get SO FREAKING TIRED by like 4pm I could crawl in bed. I also notice I have a small headache throughout the day.  I also have a sore throat and feel a bit achey. As to be expected I read. The being tired is the toughest part. And wait- I have a sore throat. I almost feel like I'm getting sick if that makes sense? Its bearable, nothing too crazy, but its sort of that malaise you feel when a cold is coming on. Holy smokes the body is amazing. 

DAY 4-5: I'm 'cruising' as I tell Matt.  A lot of people talk about this part of the program being the one where they want to kill everybody and they have mood swings. This evening Matt and I were talking about the chainsaw because I want to take down a tree so I asked him to teach me how to use it and then this happened ----  " I would prefer it if to get started you use the chainsaw when I'm home only just to be safe." I have a moment where I panic thinking maybe Matt is no longer a feminist, I actually snap back at hime "wait- are you no longer a feminist?" and then I realize its the lack of dairy talking. I am ok. I should not be using a chainsaw at home alone ever. I also really want ice cream. 

Day 8: Today is day 8 for me. I feel really really good. No headaches or any other symptoms. I've never eaten so many sweet potatoes in my life. But feeling really good!
 

Day 11: I'm leaving to go downstate this weekend for my sister's bridal shower. I have a bag of W30 approved things to snack on the entire ride down. As for how I feel I can honestly say I feel really good. Its bizarre. I'm sleeping deeply, my weird red rash around my nose is gone, my eye whites are SO WHITE and I just feel really really really good. 

Day 13: Today was marked by our annual "Chicken Sisters" outing. Where myself, and big group of friends of ours pile into a party bus and go to Dam Site Inn for Chicken dinners and general rowdiness. I was the only sober one. Which was hysterical. At one point my friend Pat (who has done Whole30) leaned over to me on the party bus and was like "please blog about that time on whole30 you went to a chicken place with a bunch of loud boys" --- I had blast. The waiter was like "oh god you're on whole30 at this place" and then brought me a special plate of carrot sticks celery and grapes. I love people. 

Day 16: Real talk: my period started yesterday. I have never in my life felt more hungry. Its a weird little blip in this challenge for me. I was CRUISING- and while I still feel amazing, I am eating cashews and avacados like its nobodys business right now. I'm typically snacky when Aunt Flo is visiting for all the things that I can't have right now; chocolate; a chocolate muffin, dark chocolate peanut butter cups (holy shit my mouth is watering) and a fat glass of red wine. During a weak moment last night I laid in bed and watched Giada make some 'farmers pasta' dish. It was essentially a recipe that goes like this: boil pasta. melt 34232 cheeses together in a pan with parsley and garlic, toss in the pasta, cover in bread crumbs drenched in butter, bake. "Oh screw off Giada." then I went to bed. 

Memorial Day weekend is soon but I have a few things going for me: A- my parents are out of town, meaning our family rowdiness will be way toned down and not as many temptations B- the weather looks 'meh' at best. I'll be sipping my la croix and pom mocktail on the boat all weekend but soon I shall feel like Beyonce...... 

Day 17: My snackiness is so bad at night right now (aunt flo) that I power cleaned the entire first floor of the house the other night. But oddly enough around this time in my cycle every. single. month. I have a breakout. Like a gross cluster of acne (sorry if you're reading while sipping your coffee.) Not this month. My skin is so clear. So thanks W30- for forcing me to deal with a pile of crap I tucked in a corner of the den like 3 months ago & for letting me not have a giant zit this month.... I've searched the entire internet for people writing blogs about being on their period during Whole30- WOMEN WHY AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT THIS-- this is my biggest challenge so far. I want to cheat so badly. SO BADLY. 

Day 18: I had a dream last night about being at a winery in Italy with my  family and it was so beautiful and then suddenly the waiter turned to me and was like 'none for you Whole30 girl.'  That's nice. One of the biggest takeaways I've had on this entire thing is how good I feel in the morning when I DONT drink wine the night before. Even a glass with dinner (okay also while cooking dinner) seems to leave me a bit bloated in the morning or I don't sleep well at all. Thinking hard about how I may need to seriously re-visit how many evenings I have vino once I'm back to real life. It might be something I try to save for weekends only.  Matt is very sweet and called me on his way home from work to ask if "I would mind if he had a beer tonight" --- a spectator came in the dugout at baseball and called him a dick. I think he needs like 4 beers. He's sweet for asking. 

Day 19: I'm so burned out on eggs. I can't eat another egg. For a few days at least. I stopped eating them like 4 days ago and the memory is still fresh. I hate you eggs. While I'm taking time off I'm realizing that I need so little food to function in the day now. It's bizarre. Some nuts, an avacado, a lunch salad and some veggies and salmon for dinner. Weird. But hi- my jeans are so much comfier. 

Day 21: I can see the finish line but shit it feels far away. I feel amazing. I have great energy, I'm sleeping SO DEEPLY and the weird rash on my scalp is gone. Not to mention (ladies take note) my period that just ended was SO MUCH EASIER TO HANDLE. I'll leave it at that, but like, serious improvement on the pain management side. But holy shit I want to be done with this. Not for any reason other than wedding season being in full swing means I am so hard pressed to prep tons in the kitchen. I didn't grocery shop this week which isn't helping. 

Day 21.9 UPDATE: I'm over this shit. I have weak moments - like right now- where I seriously just want it to be day 30. 

Day 23: I have never in my life seen how much I equate 'accomplishments' with a food celebration. This food - emotion relationship is deep seeded shit people. We finish a tough day in the studio and I am seriously like 'I need a cookie right now because I did a great job today." WTF. I walk with Maple instead, I'm like one of those cheesy PSA ads on the radio about healthy living but once I go do something instead of having the cookie I forget about the craving. 

Day 26: We did a double wedding yesterday. I call the day after weddings my 'wedding hangover' day. I usually just sit bra-less on the couch answering emails all day. I feel so freaking good. It is ridiculous. LIke I can't remember the last time my stomach was upset, or bloated, or my joints hurt. Jesus Christ what is in our food? Wake up call friends. WAKE UP CALL. I'm excited to be done though, there is a cold glass of rose with my name on it. A friend texted me today who asked about W30 and we chatted a bit on the phone about it. She says she can't imagine going 30 days WITHOUT an upset stomach, I tell her its possible. Its really hard some days, but its possible. 

Day 29: I can't believe tomorrow is my final day! The month has flown by some, and crawled by on other moments. I will admit, and this is so weird- I'm a little  worried about the end of Whole30. I've chosen not to do the full 'reintroduction' thing because basically its wedding season, summer, I want wine & all the things rolled into one. So my plan is to slowly check out and see how my body reacts to things, first up being that cold glass of rose, DUH. (Like dead serious I have the bottle chilling in the fridge right now.) But I am seriously dreading a stomach ache or bloating. I love this entire thing of living with a happy gut. My money is on the dairy- but only time will tell...... 

Day 30: *mic drop*

My thoughts / opinions & the part where I try and convince you to do this: Do it. Do it for yourself. I have truly never in my life felt better. Its weirdly one of those silly things that is SO true when people say, 'you don't know how shitty you felt until you feel this good.' I'm serious. 99.9% of it- is a mental challenge. And I liked that. For some reason I feel like this month made me tougher mentally. The food wasn't the tough part, not the prep, not the shopping or the cooking or the planning- its all a mental game. Its a mental game when you're out with friends and family and at social things and its a mental game when its the freaking most beautiful weather ever and you're sitting by the bonfire. It's a mental game when you are travelling away from home. Its a mental game on long days when you have been sweating your ass off working outside and Scoops (cute ice cream place) is calling your name. its a mental game. 30 days. Not a sip of alcohol. Not a bite of a treat. Not an ounce of dairy. You can do it. I promise you. 

So what changed? Whole30 has this thing called "Non Scale Victories" which I love.  Here are mine: clearer skin, weird rash on my scalp - gone, crazy amounts of energy (kicked in around day 20), better cycle this month, dry skin- gone, my eye whites are SO WHITE, my skin is legit glowing, zero bloating (the bloat is what sent me on the Whole30 train, long story about my visit to the doctor where she mentioned I may need a 'reset' to balance my hormones), cravings for anything- gone. And perhaps best of all- I'm tougher than I thought. 

You are not allowed to weigh yourself on Whole30. I loved this part. I didn't do this to lose weight. I legit went down this journey for one purpose: I needed to get rid of this bloating issue. I felt like I had swallowed a balloon for all of March / April.  I actually said to Matt the other day, "I feel so good, I don't care what the number on the scale is." I'm down 14 lbs. Thats insanity to me. I feel like I was never hungry and I ate ALL THE TIME. But your body really thanks you when you stop fueling it with sugar.

Sugar is pretty messed up: Holy shit. Its. In. Everything. And once my body stopped requiring it to function, (this is the ugly part, the first 8 ish days) I felt more in control. 

Fast Tips: Before you start, read the book. Give yourself a full 10 days AT LEAST before your first day - it'll help you mentally prepare. Tell everyone- accountability. Have a buddy -shout out to my girl Meaghan who did this with me and who at multiple times I texted for support. Try and have zero social events the first week. Once I got really comfortable with it all we resumed our normal life, but for the first 5-7 days we pretty much chilled at home lots. We had people over a few times and I would just make a W30 dinner. But it does take a few days to get in the swing of things. 

When in doubt, fry up an egg, mash an avacado on it, throw in some sauteed veggies & then go to bed. 

Cheer my friends.

xo

 

 

 

on when this place actually looks pretty good.

Something REALLY big happened on Saturday night last week. Something that NEVER HAPPENS. Matthew Paul Sheick, the toughest of critics, the most detail oriented, goal driven human I know.... was walking into the house with me, back across the lavender and said, "This place is looking pretty good." 

Before we go any further let me please say this. Here is an example of our life on this farm working outside. 

K: "WOW ITS LOOKING GOOD!"

M: "um we just shoveled one thing of dirt, the project hasn't even really started yet."

K: "YEAH BUT I CAN TELL! GONNA LOOK AWESOME HONEY I AM SO PROUD OF YOU YOU ARE SO AMAZING!"

M: (putting his earbuds back in) "okay yeah- see ya in a while...."

(((move to next project space)))) 

K: "HOLY SHIT! HONEY! THIS LOOKS AWESOME!" 

M: "we are getting there, still a lot to do." 

((((next project)))) 

K: "WE ARE AMAZING! LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME!" 

M: "project list is still really long." 

Matt is the reason this place looks good. But he's a tough critic. This is one of the reasons I love him so much. Our yin and yang. I don't know many flower bosses who have a significant other who can come in the studio and say "That looks really awesome, just put it down now, its done." Or "wow honey, good stuff this week. I like the color." OR "I'm being honest with you because I know you want me to be- this is not your best, start that over." 

Now some of you who are soft might be sitting there being like "omg Matt is so mean, thats so mean." UM NO. Y'all YOU WANT SOMEONE who raises your bar. Who wants it to be perfect. You also want someone who is like "I cannot envision where this is going, but I trust you, so I'm gonna go rip that tree out for you." Someone has to have the vision. The other one has to be able to help execute. 

Okay so, its been 18 months since we moved here. And Matt Sheick has admitted its finally really actually coming together. We spent all of last summer focused on the lavender, so the 'landscaping' and 'maintaining' was a side project. But suddenly, being able to focus on things like grass seed, and the overall 'look and feel' and FLOW of our space has it feeling like something really special. 

And so when we walked back in from our fav little spot on the property and the sun was setting behind the barn and everything is green and blooming and mowed and the random piles of shit are gone and the 3 structures we had moved out of here are now just a grassy lawn space and the trees have been pruned and it feels sorta perfect --- you can see it all. WE CAN FINALLY SEE IT. 

So when Sheick says, "This place is looking pretty good." Well damn. I wanna have a party right then and there. I want everyone to come over. Because if Sheick says it looks good. Trust friends, it looks good.

So yeah, I'm writing an entire blog post about how finally our place looks good. But you have to understand, we make it look this good because we freaking LOVE sharing it with people. And when you come here, for dinner or a wedding or yoga in the lavender or to buy your christmas tree or to do manual labor for me because I've convinced you thats a good idea- I want you to have this little moment that I have everyday, "this place is something special." 

Matt Sheick- thanks for being our project manager and forever my lead design assistant and for jumping in head first on this life project with me. Even when we had the cutest little house on the corner in town with the tiny yard. Our cutest little farm with a giant yard is a lot more fun. :) 

xo

K

on may.

I'm happy May is over. Just being honest. It's a tough month for me because it's absolute insanity in our house. 

May means wedding season prep, and a shit ton of outside work. And it also means varsity baseball kicks into overdrive, so my time actually seeing Matt is limited. And then I feel like a total brat because every time I do see him all we talk about is when we are going to get stuff done on the farm and the project list.

BUT MAY IS NOW OVER. May also has a lot of burn piles going, all the time. We are so country. At least we are NEVER the people randomly shooting off fireworks or guns (I love safety). 

May kicked off with a week full of client meetings. I got to meet with 3 of our brides and it just makes me so damn excited for their wedding. Because when I get to meet them actually in person, so much clicks. Plus I get to introduce myself before I drop their bridal bouquet off to them and I'm crying into a paper towel. #truelife

May also kicked off with my final weekend on the wine and turning 29. We went to Cafe Sante for dinner with my parents and celebrated another trip around the sun for me. It was a perfect little celebration. I started Whole30 around this time. (Full blog post coming soon)

We taught our Mother-Daughter workshop at Bowers Harbor Winery that weekend and it was our last workshop until wreaths! I'm a little emo as I adore this time with our clients / blog readers but no worries- it'll be wreath time before we know it. 

On Mother's Day we sold flowers at our popup shop at North Perk Coffee and I got to see so many hilarious and awkward 13-15 year old boys walk into a coffee shop sort of panicked and say to the barista "DO YOU SELL GIFTCARDS" and they say "yup" and then the boys go "MAY I PLEASE HAVE ONE FOR $20" ---boys and gifts. So funny to me. When in doubt- run to the coffee shop for your mom on Mother's Day. 

We kicked off the following week with a big styled shoot at Fieldguide Farmhouse. It was a giant undertaking with a bunch of vendors, we were a small small part of it- however I did get to trial run the '5 golden rings' as an install. Learned a lot. Cannot wait to show you the images from this. 

My sister's Bridal Shower was the next weekend and it was a blast. I loved seeing so many people who have known us and loved us for so long. My sister is the best, as you all know we are very close, so it was fun to watch her get showered in love. The big wedding is SO SOON! 

We had another styled shoot the following week, it was a fun challenge to play with ridiculous color, like bright vibrant neons and pastels and yellows and orange and blue and cherry reds. These are not your 'typical' wedding colors, so I trialed a few different things with the bouquet. Not just color, style of design, a trick I'm trying to incorporate into structure work and some other weird stuff. When I am set loose on bridals they end up being enormous in the best way, this one was no different. Pics soon! 

The month ended with a Memorial Day weekend for the record books. The entry would read like this: On this weekend in 2017, thanks to Pilates and Moskal Chiropractic and eating healthy Kalin Elizabeth Sheick pruned and weeded lavender & laid landscaping fabric without her back being injured. Let it be known her back survived. I'm serious you all. Pruning & weeding the lavender is no joke. But its done. 

We also learned in May our lavender will be featured ON TAP at a brand new "cidery" going in on our road in July, an apple-lavender hard cider. YUM. Details soon!

Alright June...... show us what you got. 10 weddings and Egan's Bachelorette Party..... we can handle that. 

See ya! 

on april.

Note: This is part of my year in review series so I can better remember and detail 2017 for our family. You can scroll back a bit to read the other months. :) 

April made me happy. It was my time to shake the dust off and remind myself that I can actually design flowers & start putting some wheels into motion for the season. 

We kicked off the month with a workshop at Fieldguide Farmhouse filled with a whole lotta cool ass women. We designed centerpieces and then enjoyed a fleeting perfect Spring day on the porch with a glass of wine. 

The following week I zoomed off to Charlotte for a few days to see Piper, my god-daughter and her mama and papa who happen to be two of my best friends. It was a full 2 days of snacks, walks to the park and rose on a patio. As fast a trip as it was, I was so happy. You know you are where you need to be when your best friend is like "I found these mini cans of rose at Trader Joes lets drink them during naptime."

When I was back on the farm I fell right back into it with leading two amazing women for the day in a private instruction here at our studio. They are both learning to design for weddings this season and so I helped them refine a bit on bouquet work, littles, and fun other weird things we do for weddings. The studio was bursting with blooms with always makes me happy. 

I also got to spend a magical day in Traverse City connecting with some Northern Michigan Event Professionals as I was a featured speaker at a 'lunch and learn' about telling your story. I was reminded standing up there with a microphone in my hand how much I love connecting with people and it was a double triple bonus it being a talk about my biggest passions in life. 

We had one April wedding, Jenny and Austin said 'I do' on a beautiful Spring day in Traverse City. I flowered solo which is always a fun challenge and Lee helped me with install. Friends, I cannot say enough about having a woman tribe who want you to succeed and give up their Sunday to schlep flowers just because they love you. 

I also was fortunate enough to finally meet Megan in person this month. We've been internet buds for a year and she invited me over to her home for a ladies evening dinner. You can read all about it right here, but it was good for the soul and I felt right at home. 

But then- the month was over! It blew in just as fast as it left. April was also a month I started to get REALLY worried about the lavender. But low and behold- Mother Nature is always way more powerful than my stupid ass worrying- and before the calendar flipped to May- those babies were greening up fast. 

April, just like this blog post, a lightning fast blur. 

xo

K

on the lone peeper.

Lately every night when I head upstairs for bed I lay for a few minutes and listen to our lone peeper. 

Spring Peepers are a frog here in the northern reaches of this country that 'peep' at night to attract a woman frog to do adult things with and make a million little peeping babies. It literally sounds like a bird. Its so high pitched and sweet and we have ONE. And he literally makes his peep all night. 

These frogs are pretty amazing. You can hear their call up to two miles away. They can survive subzero temperatures in early Spring. They hide all day under logs and shit sleeping until they are hungry for insects and sex so they emerge from the log and away we go.

We have one single peeper here at the farm. Usually, they are in groups of hundreds, or at least a couple dozen. Not our guy. He stands alone out there. And its oddly relaxing to me. From everything I've read- he will keep peeping as long as he wants to mate, doesn't matter how many lady frogs come by for a visit, he'll just mate, and then start peeping again. I could make a lot of inappropriate jokes here but I'm gonna let you fill them in on your own time. 

Now I'm not one to judge another's story- but I often wonder why this guy is out there alone. Peeping to the beat of his own drum. Its like he looked at his frog posse of bros and was like 'screw this- y'all are bringing me down with you- i'm out to peep in my own land" and he just hopped away to a small old 10 acre farm on a country road in Petoskey Michigan.  Most often peepers stay in these huge groups and sort of take over a swamp or pond, there can be thousands of them, and (surprise surprise) all the men try and peep louder than the guy next to them. (again, fill in your own jokes here.) 

 And now he's out there. Every. Freaking. Night. Chirping away like a little bird. But he's a frog. And his neck blows up into a huge balloon which is what makes the noise and it impresses all the lady frogs. -_-  Regardless, I'm just fascinated by him. 

It's become a part of my day. To lay in bed, and listen to the Spring chorus that is unfolding here in Northern Michigan. I listen to bugs fly into the dining room window most of the day (my office) and a sex crazed frog call out to women all night. A glamorous life indeed. 

Peep to the beat of your own drum. You do NOT need to follow the crowd or live in the swamp with all the other humans you're here with. Find your own water hole and make it your own.

xo

K

 

 

on the day it all came full circle.

I had a ridiculous day Tuesday. So fitting that it was a Tuesday right? Because usually, I hate them. But it was- a day that I could not have orchestrated better myself. The universe was into some seriously crazy shit. Let me tell you. It was a day of everything coming so full circle my heart nearly burst. I was wired until past midnight (y'all know this means it was intense for me).

I didn't really even see it coming. As with most of the best things in life- it took me a bit by surprise. I woke up to realize that it was the 2 year anniversary of our first wedding we ever flowered for. Stems & Sprigs was made to be a flower company that didn't do weddings, just arrangements because I actually thought I could never do a wedding (like, how the hell do you even do that?) but I'm friends now (surprise) with our first bride ever and she posted an anniversary pic on Facebook and I remembered that day. 

Matt and I were clueless. But I consider one of my strongest talents that I can really appear to have my shit together when I need to. So we decided we would flower a wedding on a beautiful Spring day in 2015.  Many of you know the story from here. Designing in the old Cadillac house. At the ping pong table in the basement. I stayed up until 1am (again, very intense for me) making the bridesmaid bouquets and got up at 5am to do the boutonnieres because I had no workflow or clue what I was doing. But we did it. The wedding was beautiful, the couple was happy, and Matt got his first taste of hauling a lot of 5 gallon buckets and handing things to me while I'm on a ladder. #romance 

So I woke up yesterday and got all emo that it had been 2 years since that day. And as fate would have it I was driving to Traverse City that morning to give a presentation on 'telling your story.' On how your story is such an important part of the business you build that it shouldn't be hidden behind gimmicky marketing and weird sales pitches. That wedding- is SUCH an important part of our story. This story. Without it- who knows what this business would look like today. #fullcircle

I spoke to the group without a filter and did not follow a script. When I left TV the only thing I worried about was that I would feel like a small part of me was unfulfilled. The part of me that loves being able to reach a large group of people and connect with them, inspire them and just make people happy. That little part was filled right back in yesterday as I got to see the 'aha' moments happening.

After the luncheon and a couple hours of working at the coffee shop I went to meet some creative badass women for a chat at a Traverse City happy hour spot and low and behold when I walk in the door what do I see? In the foreground- an entire table of my old coworkers- including ONE who is our bride this weekend #fullcircle. There are hugs and 'how are yous' and 'im so happy for yous' and support. General kindness and love. I think about the hours I spent agonizing over 'letting everyone at the station down' or 'will they all be mad at me.' And I'm embraced by people who weren't even in my department but follow the blog and believe in me. And in the background a table of new friends who have all come to me through this weird internet storytelling medium and all own creative amazing businesses and inspire me daily. The juxtaposition yall --the melting together and the universe-- I literally was looking up at the ceiling like - "wait- is this all for real right now?" #sofullcircle #butwait #imserious

 

Later that night Taylor (T Swift) and I were invited to the Brys Estate Wine Dinner at the Cooks' House in TC. You remember Taylor, she worked with us for 6 months and kicked ass last summer in ways I could have never imagined. But what you don't know is that on the longest of long design days in that leaky old part of the barn Taylor and I would talk a LOT about what was next for her. I pushed her (sometimes too much) to talk out loud about her dream job. One that if she could design it herself -- what would it look like? We discussed her strengths and what we knew were her 'non negotiables' and it looked a lot like- a hospitality management position for a family owned business that focuses on wine and events and is well branded and is in northern michigan and allows her to be creative and still play with flowers and be social but also be a workhorse (shes one of those people that needs to be busy, like for real). Okay- still with me? So we design this dream job. And I set out hell-bent on finding it for her. 

We need to time travel again. But hang with me.

4 years ago reporting for the morning show I am assigned a liveshot one morning with a 'guy representing a winery.' He shows up for the live-hit and we are instantly hitting it off. Like so much so that I go over my time for the live shot- and my mom texts me afterwards "who was that guys- your best friend?!" I immediately form a connection with Patrick and later get to meet and equally begin to love his husband Erik. The rest is friendship history- filled with adventures and wine and a lot of 'good lord I'm grateful the universe brought us together' moments. 

Time travel again- September 2016- for The Gather Series I invite Pat and Erik to join us as a vendor and represent their winery "Brys Estate" which is in Traverse City (you see where this is going right?) I'll spare you all the details--- but thanks to a lot of people believing in one another and knowing who needs to meet who- Taylor starts her dream job next Wednesday at Brys Estate as their Hospitality Manager. To say I am proud is an understatement. And to say I am excited for the incredible Brys family to welcome T to their team is an understatement. 

So last night Taylor and I joined Pat and Erik for dinner as their guests. A 'passing of the torch' if you will. I watched as Taylor represented her new brand with pride and my little heart almost burst that the girl who found me on Instagram and reached out for an internship and helped run our company last summer was all grown up. And the friends I met at a liveshot are now her coworkers and it's all so damn perfect.. #fullcircle. 

And the cherry on top of it all? That bride 2 years ago? Jesi? Taylor found us because Jesi was her instructor at CMU and Instagrammed a photo of her wedding and tagged us as her flower tribe. Thats it. #fullcircle

So who knows where 'person zero' is in all of this. It's maybe a news station in Northern Michigan. Or an instructor at Central Michigan University. Or maybe its a guy who moved back from california to run his family's winery on Old Mission Peninsula. Perhaps its my husband who said he would 'do whatever I need to do to make this wedding happen for you' when I told him I was too scared to do a wedding. Maybe its the manager that took the chance and put me on a morning show. Maybe its my mom always telling me I was 'destined to be in front of people.' Perhaps its instagram leading Taylor down a clicking frenzy to find a small company in Petoskey that needed help for a summer. But I do know this- never in my life have I realized how connected we all are. 

Not on our screens. Not at happy hour. But this human element. We are all scared and overwhelmed and finding joy in little things and dreaming of something different for ourselves, and saying 'out loud' what that dream looks like just might be the difference.

You need people to take a chance on you and believe in you. It makes all the difference in completing the circle. 

xo

K

on why I chose to do it this way.

Oh good lord this is nice. The coffee is hot. I'm writing to you from the couch. Pup at my feet and its a movie-set worthy grey and rainy day. I feel like I should be wearing a petticoat and running across and English moor to my beloved on horseback. You get the visual I'm sure.

 I spent much of yesterday designing alongside two awesome women. They are growers and designers and farmers and all the flower things I love- but they are looking to move into weddings this season and wanted to see first hand how I do things. 

When I started the business, I had read a LOT of books and blogs and watched all the youtube videos about what NOT do to when you own a business. There are obvious ones like - screw over your customers, lie cheat and steal, be untrustworthy -those are pretty clear not only in business but also in life. 

But one thing I see as a reoccurring theme over and over in this creative sphere is this obsession with not showing all of our cards. Being helpful but not TOO helpful. Mentor people but don't tell them EVERYTHING. It's interesting because I feel I get more when I give more. 

When one of us does well locally in the wedding industry - we all do well. Its simple as that. I am all about helping and teaching and connecting and sharing and answering the weird text and instagram questions and empowering everyone. One of our beloved #StemsSquad ladies from last year is flowering her ass off in Detroit right now and actually killing it. The weekend of her first wedding I was answering all the questions- happily. I want others to succeed.  She nailed it. Not because I helped her. Not because I taught her. Because she did the work herself. But you know what helped? That I believe in her. Can you imagine trying to build something up you love and believe in yourself but know that others out there don't want that for you? EW. The energy you put out towards others is real people, and reflected in their ability to do the work and call it awesome & it also reflects back on you about the success you have in this world.

NOW. I am not all butterflies and rainbows. We all know this. I hate bullies and baddies and assholes and people who are two-faced and wanna start shit for no reason. Not cool. I'm also a businesswoman so I'm not out there giving away all the keys to the castle for free- but I'm not 'forgetting' to answer a text asking me where I get my vases from. I'm not charging people who email me asking for advice. I'm not billing women who want to meet for coffee and discuss their business plan and I'm sketching out package ideas on a napkin for them. Because I love this. And because I believe in everyone having a fair shot at being able to do exactly what it is the hell they want to do. 

All of our behavior is learned. And here is where I want to tell you why I am this way. My parents are the two most generous amazing people on this planet. They would literally do anything for anyone and not expect an ounce of anything in return. They are smart, hilarious, funny, hardworking & total #lifegoals. I grew up watching them host and love on everyone in their inner circle in a way that is SO authentic that it was authentic before using authentic was like the coolest most authentic word. 

But they are also private. And I love that. 

Someone in town the other day told me 'you must have a gazillion people over all the time!' I smiled and told them- not really. As much as I love, at my core, hosting special events with people and bringing people together to connect. I really love my family time. My inner circle. My sibling time. Thanksgiving when its just the 7 of us. My friends who see me bringing them a roast into the dining room while I'm crying from period cramps and wearing my yoga pants. When its just Matt Maple and I sitting outside burning a pile of brush and drinking wine. When its just me and my god daughter going for gelato on a warm Spring day. Yes I am wildly public about all of it -- but please know, that a lot of it is still just for me. 

I chose to do it this way because I love watching others succeed. I love saying "you know who you need to meet...." and then months later they are collaborating. I love at The Gather Series strangers meet at a table and the next week are hugging at the farmers market.

Connection is one of the most beautiful, fruitful & easy human elements. Thanks for letting me connect with you right here. 

xo

 

on march.

Note: This is part of a monthly recap I am attempting to do all year. If you want scroll back a bit and you can read our family January and February recap. 

March was a really amazing month. It started with literally 9 straight days of client meetings and calls. I feel like the calendar flipped to and a lot of our brides started to feel a fire burning to get some stuff done and I'm more than happy to be a box checked off the list. 

We were also able to go spend some time down at the 'Farm that started it all.' Runnymede in Cadillac. We lived there for almost 3 years way back way and our landlords Bill & Mary Jo became two of our closest friends. They are the best and time spent with them is such a treat. Maple loved being back there and running free and visiting the chickens. 

March also was the final month for Matt of surgeon appointments and therapy on his hand. We are absolutely in the clear and his finger works as good as new! 

The following weekend I hosted Hygge: Women's Creative Retreat in Boyne City. There is a draft in my folder that's a blog recap of this entire weekend and I keep attempting it and it keeps being too hard to put into words. But this weekend was life changing for me, and for the women who joined me. 

We spent two days locked in a log lodge surrounded by beautiful snowfall and dove into our businesses and dreams and fears and all that stuff that comes with being someone who can't just sit still and show up. Since the retreat I've talked to one of those ladies at least once a day, and I get to see some of them regularly this spring / summer! What an amazing experience. 

March also brought Little Black Cloud for a bit more than I would have liked. Its my little funk, which seemingly appears out of nowhere but lingers for a few days, raising hell and pissing me off. It was totally weather related as it seemed in March that winter would never end. But we packed our bags and headed down to Florida for the final week of the month which helped with all the feelings. :)

Last month we also got some amazing clients. I am blown away at how quickly 2018 is booking. 

Little things right now like the tulips starting to emerge, and the daffodils growing a bit more each day- that is such a beautiful part of this season. The lilac bushes (we have a gazillion at the farm) have their buds, which to me is basically like Christmas Morning. 

March is a mind game. It feels so so so long, but thats really because we are waking up. We are ready to be outside again and move a bit and haul some dirt and plant some seeds. But the earth isn't ready. And we all know Mother Nature calls the shots. 

April has some crazy awesome stuff on tap. I cannot wait to share it with you.

xo

K

on being bored.

Being bored is really tough. In the world today you never really have to be bored, you can just unlock your phone and scroll the world of word vomit on the internet. (Yes I am aware I contribute to that word vomit daily and more than most people, I'm ok with that.) 

Being bored for people who are typically not taking a lot of 'down time' is even tougher. I am fascinated by watching kids in Florida be bored in the sand. They just sort of sit there, and push around the sand and look at the water. It's quite lovely. 

I'm working hard at being bored this week. And I think I'm doing a damn good job. I never nap at home and I've taken a little snooze every day since we got down here. I've finished an entire book. I've watched HGTV for the first time in months. I've sat and pushed the sand around and just looked at the water. It's been real nice. 

One of my favorite parts about being bored, is that I think its really good for our brains. It allows them to sort of just 'be' instead of always firing a million miles an hour. We are in Florida for 8 days this year. This is the longest trip Matt and I have taken in 2 years. And I think that the length is what allows your body to do the most impactful 'reset.' 

If we were here 4 days. It would have been jammed. With making sure we 'checked all the boxes' -favorite dinner place, beach day, pool day, make sure I go to Whole Foods a couple times (its a problem.) And then poof- we would have been back in Michigan. 

But with this extended stay, we are allowed to really not have a plan. Maybe go watch some baseball, maybe see a movie, maybe this- maybe that. And it's allowing both of us to reset before what is our craziest time of the year. 

Spring brings a lot of challenges to our house. Matt is the Varsity Baseball Coach- so he's gone every night from the beginning of March until Mid-June and meanwhile, I am gearing up for our busiest month of the year which this summer will be June. A year ago I would have looked at our calendar that is upcoming and started feeling anxious- but this year I have a much better 'go with the flow' mentality and I am so confident it'll all come together because I don't allow it to do anything but that. 

But allowing myself the time and space to just be bored this week is helping. It's helping me make sure I'll be a better floral designer this summer, a better employer, a better wife, a better friend. It's also allowing me the space to really focus on putting the pen to the paper with some long off goals that when you're on vacation seem like you 'maybe could really do this'- stay tuned. 

Be bored. Maybe its a day. Maybe its 8 days. But find the time and space and allow yourself to just sort of be. 

xo

K

on the 'little black cloud.'

I thought twice about writing this post, it seemed a bit 'emo' for me but then I got a message from a fan of our work the other day who said lovely amazing kind things and added "it all seems so perfect." 

And I knew I had to write about this.

My life. This brand. Movement. Whatever it is- is so far from perfect. SOOOOO far. Like really far. And I am not perfect. And I never want to be. Social media is a curated highlight reel from the daily grind of making a living at what you love which doesn't feel like a grind that often but still is a lot of hard ass work. 

I have this thing called, 'the little black cloud.' Matt and I both refer to it as that. Its basically when I am in a funk. And it happens like 3 times a year. It usually lasts 2-3 days and its pretty ugly. I mean like, crying, unable to express why I'm crying, stress eating, canceling plans, calling off meetings kind of funk. 

Before we go any further with this post, I'm here to give a quick note on this stuff. I am not a doctor. And I am not trying to make light of serious mental health stuff. Someone I really look up to once said it this way, "depression is a real bitch and you never know how many people are suffering." So before I get into my little list, I'm not writing about depression, I'm writing about when I am in a funk. If you think you might be suffering from depression talk to your doctor and find a therapist you love. Thanks. 

So my little black cloud appeared Friday morning. It's almost like someone flips a switch. And this time, that switch was Mother Nature. I had finished working out when the snow started and for some reason something in me sort of snapped. 

I spent all of Friday and all of Saturday just wallowing in self pity. I crawled back in bed every day this weekend. Cried for like an hour. Had a little anxiety moment where I was convinced Matt was going to be in a car accident. Willed myself to fall asleep to alleviate the little black cloud. Tried to facetime my college roommates so they would make me laugh. Facetimed my sister and my mom. Tried to write. Took another nap. That stupid little freaking black cloud. 

And then! I realized I am in total and complete control over how I react to things. And I decided to give the little black cloud its eviction notice. I wasn't going to throw away an entire weekend being emo. It's really not my style. And so my friends, here is what I do to get rid of my 'little black cloud' and I hope it helps you the next time your funk-cloud shows up. 

Move. Exercise, as much as I freaking hate it some days, really is the cure all. So I knew I had to go to yoga this weekend. I hauled my butt out of bed on my sleep in day to get on the mat and I instantly felt better when class started. 

Eat what the hell you want to eat. I typically work really hard to try and eat healthy all the time because A- if I let myself go I would survive off of cheese and popcorn and B- I just feel better when I do. But a FUNK calls for spaghetti. I made a giant thing of it and it tasted soooo good. 

Cuddle your animal. When I was hysterically sobbing on the couch Maple was REALLY concerned. I got on the floor and laid with her for a while to just sort of mellow it all out. Animals are truly therapy. No joke. 

DO SOMETHING FUN. Saturday night I had two options- I could sit with my little black cloud all night and be a brat to Matt and go to bed at 9pm all mad for no reason, OR I could have a couple glasses of wine with friends and host them for a board game and laugh really hard and listen to The Eagles for an hour while I did dishes. 

Easy on the caffeine. for some reason when I've had way too much coffee lately it really can mess up my mood. Don't know if I'm alone on this one or not? Give me a shout if its you too. But when I'm in a funk I try and just have 2 cups a day.

Find your ladies. The final step in removing the little black cloud was brunch with my best girls Sunday morning. The time spent with my girls is just damn good for the soul. 

Chat with your person. One thing that helps my little black cloud break up pretty quickly is reminding Matt that this has nothing to do with him. He's really really good about giving me my space when I need it, and being my shoulder to cry on when LBC is being a real bitch. But I always make a point to remind him during my funk that its not him, I'm just 'riding it out' and he'll be like 'okay cool- I'm gonna watch March Madness" and all is well. 

If I really went into it here I'm sure this LBC has something to do with a combination of--- seasonal emo-ness, lack of humidity touching my skin, feeling like I'm waiting on the earth to thaw so I can actually get shit done, missing my mom & dad and my hormones. 

Small problems on the grand scale of life. Reminding me how ridiculously good it all really is. Little Black Cloud you're outta here--- see ya next time around.

Until then.

xo

 

 

on the wind.

After the wind stopped- I surveyed the damage. 

You may have had it where you were too. We had 48 hours straight of non stop wind in the 30 MPH range and a gust measured just near our house at 62 MPH. It literally. Would. Not. Stop. I'm talking like, I am not a small woman by any means and when I was walking uphill in town to meet a friend I swear I was leaning into it and it was holding me up and it looked like a Michael Jackson move. I swear it. 

And I was pissed. Because every two seconds something was going to shit around here. 

A piece of our gutters blew off. They were installed last year. Straight up a piece of the gutters was just ripped from our home and blew away. One of my favorite urns got picked up, traveled a bit, tossed back down and cracked down the side. Our recycling bin looked like a plastic bag floating through the air. Trees down everywhere near our house. We are lucky we didn't lose any big ones- but there are giant branches down all over the yard. And perhaps what pissed me off the most- our landscaping fabric blowing up and OVER the lavender plants. Like the wind was so strong that it squeezed the fabric over the plants, the holes are significantly smaller than the plants- and like a genie in a bottle it just squeezed the hell right off. The landscaping fabric looked like a 100 ft long magic carpet out there. The little ball thing on the handrail for our porch- BLEW OFF- like- I didn't even know that was possible. 

I drove over to my mom and dad's to survey their damage, their road looks like a tornado came through- tons and tons of trees down. One of my moms potted urn arrangements was there and now its gone- probably blown into someones yard somewhere. The Urn stayed. #notahomedepoturn. 

But when the wind stopped. The silence was almost deafening. I could once again hear things- the birds outside, a truck rumbling down the road, the dog snoring. And we finally slept. The house faces straight west and up here on this hill it blows so hard and relentlessly from the west that it sounds like a freight train non stop 3 nights in a row. Leading to little sleep and me just laying in bed thinking about hundred foot long strips of landscape fabric blowing across the road and onto someones car and omg they can't see and omg they veer off and omg..... 

And I surveyed the damage. We really did make it out unscathed compared to most. Online I saw friends losing hoop houses and old old trees and power and roof shingles and all that nasty stuff. It was the first time in my life I've patted myself on the back for some type of cleanup job. We really did move nearly everything inside for the winter, way back in November and by doing that we saved a lot of furniture and other things from damage I suppose. 

I'm also always in shock the barn just doesn't blow over. How is it that something built in the early 1800's lasts long than my urn from the Home Depot --- oh wait.... yeahhhhhh #CRAFTSMENSHIP. 

Our windy little oasis at the top of the hill. I sometimes still cannot believe we are here. Living this story. It's a dream most days. But on the occasional day when the wind destroys things and you spend most of your day hauling cinder blocks around a lavender field and realizing that when the weather breaks you've got a good 4 full days of work to resecure landscaping fabric and start over on some rows --- on those days, I miss that little ranch house on the corner lot in town. 

But only for a second. 

Then I look out our back door at our yard and watch the sun rise over the ridge and even in the deafening quiet after the wind I can hear the Universe sorta just telling me- you're right where you need to be.

 

xo

K

 

on what you perceive.

I've gotten into a habit of on the most beautiful mornings I put on my boots and go walk around the yard with Maple for a second. It has to be right when the sun comes over the ridge, so it's usually around 7:10 am and its freezing cold out there. Because in Northern Michigan if the sun is shining and the snow is sparkling and there isn't a cloud in the sky in early March..... its cold. 

But here's the weirdest part. I walk out there in just my PJ top. Usually a sweatshirt. Thats it. No jacket, gloves, hat, mittens, none of it. Just a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt and it feels totally fine. But today when I did it, it was -6 degrees out. ACTUAL TEMP. 

How is this possible? I'm the girl who makes everyone come to her some days in the winter because I don't like to go out there. I'm the girl who used to tell people in downtown Chicago walking in winter, "sir, you need something covering your neck." I'm the girl who once wore a coat in college that people actually called 'bear' because it looked like a giant bearskin. 

It's what we perceive.

On a Sunny Saturday when I have an awesome day ahead of me and life is great, I step out the door with a perception that all is well. I don't even give the temperature a moment in my mind. The brain is really amazing. 

Fast forward to when I'm running out the door late for something... it usually goes like this:

Kalin stomping around house. Can't find keys. Telling the dog, "i love you so much okay be back later you be good" stomping around some more. 'Shit where are those keys!" Finds keys in jacket pocket. Penguin walks (my fav in winter) out to van. Gets in van. Forgot water bottle. Cannot function without constant water consumption. "Shit!" March of the penguins back into the house. Grabs water. Notices a tulip that is still in a vase that has dropped all its petals. Feels like a shitty floral designer. Penguin March back to van. Get in van. "Jesus CHRISTTTT its cold out here!" Yells into the van for no reason. Shivers. Turns on Hamilton soundtrack. Shivering some more. Checks temperature on thingamadoo in van 'omg it's 15!' Calls Mom in Florida. Mom tells her 'its been so hot, nice to have a break with some clouds today' laughs in moms face / does a mental calculation of how many days she has until she gets to Florida and can say ridiculous lines like this. Tells mom to toughen up and come back to Michigan. Shivering. Swear at some asshat driving like a moron on the highway that is actually an ice rink. Arrive at destination. Stomp in muck boots in the door. Stomp to knock icky grey shit off boots. Winter.

Okay but wait. Didn't I just waltz outside listening to reggae in -6 with no bra, no real clothing and ENJOY IT?!

What we perceive. The energy you take into a situation is often times the energy you will get out. I'm working on this big time. I have a true cluster of a week ahead. I mean the kind where you are going 100mph from 8am on Monday until 5pm on Friday and I can choose to look at this in two ways:

Gonna be a cluster: always 15 minutes behind, driving too fast, rushed, disorganized, buying one too many caffeinated beverages, being a brat, staying up too late, skipping workouts and feeling off.

Gonna be a busy, fun, productive week doing what I love and just gonna go with the flow: commit to preparing ahead, taking it literally 1 day at a time, entering each meeting with a grateful heart, waking up a bit earlier every morning to get my shit in order. 

We wear busy like a badge of honor. We are all guilty of this. You reading this right now. Me writing this right now. It's like when we get to tell people we are busy it gives us validation. I'm giving up saying 'busy' for a week. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna replace it with, that's not the point, I want to stop using this word as a way to validate my own insecurities and 'keep up with the joneses.' 

So. That's my little rant / feeling bubble for the day. Take it or leave it. Join me in the 'banning busy' commitment this week? 

XO

K

 

 

 

on 'where the hell do I even start?'

I've been there. I am there. You have an idea. Perhaps its big, maybe its tiny. It might be finally taking that trip to Australia or it might be finally doing something with your life that excites you, or getting paid to make those cool signs you paint, or paying off all that debt, or reaching out to the person who pissed you off 10 years ago. 

You've got an idea. And you're sitting there like this, "where the hell do I even start?" 

Girl. Please. This is the story of my life. Or was. Or still sorta is. #workinprogress forever. 

I got an email two days ago from an amazing woman, a brilliant light on this planet. She's busting her ass to start her business and its just sort of stalled. 

Maybe you're there too. Stalled. Here's the best part- when you stall out- you usually aren't out of gas, you just didn't shift gears properly. 

I'm getting ready to host a Creative Women's Retreat next weekend in Boyne City. There will be 12 of us coming together to sit in our comfy pants for 2 days eating cheese, drinking wine & talking about being women who want something more for their lives. It isn't religious, or exclusive. I'm not selling a course at the end. They aren't all brides to be. We are all just women trying to figure it out. 

Note: If you're reading this and you're thinking 'I wanna be there' sign up will go out first next year to people on our mailing list, so--- get on it if ya want. 

Last night Matt and I watched a documentary on Minimalism and it boiled down to a simple message- do not bring anything into your life that doesn't serve a purpose and bring you joy. And bringing you joy can be the purpose it serves. 

But where the hell do you even start? Here's my tip; just take the very first step. Big big things can be hella overwhelming. Trust me on this one. One step. Open the account. Buy the domain. List out all the money you owe people. Tell someone you want to paint them a sign. I don't care what the hell it is- but take the first step. And you know what is coming next right? You take the next one. 

Often times I launch ideas and new projects we are working on by just writing down what I 'know about this right now' in a google doc. Its a constant stream of thought on what the idea is and how it'll work. And then I look at it- and take the first step. 

Creating a life that brings you joy is really not the norm these days. But if you've got a passion for something- why not try and make it a bigger part of your life? So it's true- starting is often the hardest part- but the longer you sit and wish it all to come to you the longer you're wasting time you could have really busted out and made something happen. 

Email me with questions, always. 

kalinsheick@gmail.com

 

xo

K

on february.

This is part of a monthly roundup I've committed to doing this year. I basically want to be able to remember the year in more detail. You can read the January version right here

February is so weird. I always say it would be the worst month ever for a birthday, but then the 293203982 people I love who have February birthdays would be offended so I sort of just stick to my theory that its a weird month. 

It's cold (usually) and dark and can feel long even though its so short. 

We started the month with our workshop which was awesome and being buried in snow. It was gorgeous. 

The following week we left for our Honeymoon to Napa Valley. I've been quiet about Napa on here because I sometimes have this weird thing where I want one part of our life to remain private (crazy right?!). Like, if I shared Napa in great detail it wouldn't be as special. Here's a brief summary: Drink all the wine. Eat all the cheese. Freakout over how much I love Northern California. Make friends from Australia. Drink more wine. Buy a lot of wine. Eat pizza. Laugh so hard we cry. Walk around Yountville. Leave to go home. 

We celebrated Valentine's Day morning stuck on the runway in Sacramento for nearly 3 hours. This is after I stood in awe as a 50-year-old woman passed through security with the worst black eye I've ever seen, wearing a wolf t-shirt and carrying a log. A log. She was travelling with a log, like a tree trunk, it went on the conveyor belt and everything. I wanted to hangout with her and learn THAT story.

During our delay they started passing out snacks and I looked like I won the Delta Lottery when I snagged a thing of Cheezits. #realexciting --but for real- why is it that people can not travel? People. Were. Freaking. Out. And I get it- being delayed sucks. Sitting on the runway sucks. But to the woman screaming that she cannot PAY FOR ANOTHER FLIGHT to 'get to my final destination! this is so unfair!" it took everything in me to turn around and tell her, you will not pay for an additional flight to get where you're going. The flight attendants were amazing, one woman went down the aisle and showed EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. how to use the delta app to look at their new flight schedule. (people, its 2017, please- for the love of god- learn to utilize the app) ((not you granny, sweet sweet granny knitting away a few rows ahead of me, you get a pass, because you were acting kind)). Regardless- we made it back to GRR and all was well. 

The month was also jammed with client work in the best way. Talked to a lot of our brides and got even more excited about their design work. I also started really trying to look at our 'systems' this year. That's a whole entire post worthy thing for this blog, but lets just say that you're only as good as the team you're with, so put together an amazing team. 

On the 22nd we hosted an edition of The Gather Series in Charlevoix at the world famous Thatch House. I wanted to do a winter edition this year really to just keep my heart and head focused on what TGS is all about for us. It was a smaller group than usual and being inside definitely changed the vibe, but didn't take away any of the magic. I'm telling you that when you bring people together intentionally, by hand picking them, real actual magic happens. 

Soon after Matt found out that he doesn't have cancer in his finger!!!! They got all of the tumor and we are in the clear. Medicine is amazing. Science rules. Now I spend a lot of time telling him to 'pass me the finger' so I can massage it to help it heal faster before golf and baseball in March. 

And then, before I could even register it was coming I left my day job. We went out on Friday night with friends to celebrate and when the crowd had cleared and it was just me on our couch at 12:30 am on Saturday morning I sobbed. A lot of people when I told them this thought I was crying from the fear. But let me be clear, I was crying because of the kindness. I had never had a day so filled with words of affirmation. And even though that is my love language I was totally blown over by it all. 

I've spent most of my February Sundays cooking up a storm in the kitchen. Nothing makes me happier than putting together 3 big recipes that will feed us most of the week. We don't watch a lot of TV but when we do, its The People V OJ Simpson on Netflix and I'm crying about Marcia Clark and Chris Darden and all of it. 

February. A month for sort of burrowing in a bit. Celebrating love and sunshine (finally) after what seemed like weeks of darkness outside and a healed finger. Celebrating changes and routine and slow Sundays.  Time to "March on" to what's next...

xo

on going full time.

Last summer, around 9pm on a Thursday night a UHaul van pulled into our driveway. A wedding planner hopped out. Her younger sister at her side. She had taken vacation days from her full-time job to come up north for the weekend to plan/execute for her clients. This is really normal for people like us.  Her business in its first full season. I laughed thinking about how many times I've dragged Egan or Matt with me to events because when you are just getting started the people who are related to you or chose to marry you become 'free labor.' I helped her get all the flowers they needed from the studio when we got to talking. “I still have a full-time job, so this has been crazy” she said.

“Me too. Don’t worry.”

“WHATTTT!? I had no idea!”

For a really long time, like the past 6 months, I’ve wondered whether or not I would even talk about leaving my full time job. It sort of felt ‘fraudy’ that I had built the company and hadn’t been completely truthful with you. I hadn’t withheld it on purpose, I just hadn’t divulged it. The main reason was our clients. The last thing I wanted, was a client, for one second, to think that I hadn’t delivered because this flower tribe & building the farm wasn’t my full time gig.

Some of our clients knew. Like 3 of them.

But Friday is my last day as a full-time TV reporter. The last 6 years have been so incredibly fulfilling. I started the flower business as a little side hustle. In all honesty, I thought it would sort of just be a hobby. But it really started to satisfy something in me that I didn’t know was there. Then, I realized that in order to reach people & connect with people at the personal level I wanted to, in a positive happy way, I could write on the blog. I could host a lot of dinner parties. I could put time into the Instagram. And it worked.

All I’ve ever really wanted to do was tell stories & bring people together, and flowers & our farm adventure became a medium for me to do so in a way I hadn’t before. I was a part of a story, able to share our story & write a new narrative for us.

2 years ago Matt and I sat in a booth at our favorite place in Cadillac eating breakfast. I cried about wanting to go to flower school. The next day, we took $800 from our savings account (that was a LOT of money for us then, we were swimming in debt & clueless about money & omg typing this stresses me out), opened a business checking account, and Stems & Sprigs was born. I had been working mornings as the live reporter for a morning show called, “Michigan This Morning” for 2 years, the ‘third shift’ schedule allowed me time to work on a website, branding & honing my skills in the afternoons.

When a friend of a friend asked us to do her wedding flowers I nearly fell out of my chair. We had been ‘in business’ for less than a month. Sure! Why not?! We never looked back. Many of you know the story from here, we realized quickly that while Petoskey was the ultimate goal for us as a place to lay our roots for a very long time, the change of location needed to happen sooner than we planned in order to grow the business. So we bought the farm.

Last summer I got really sick of hearing this line “you sound so tired” or “you look so tired” or “oh honey, you have to be so tired.” To say it was insane is sugar coating it. It really began to take a toll on everything, my health, our marriage, my relationships. I was puffy & had bags under my eyes, my back hurt all the freaking time, my shoulders were essentially in my ears and I wasn’t sleeping well. I was eating like shit. We never grocery shopped. I remember when I took 2 days off on a Monday / Tuesday from my reporting job early last fall I slept like a baby, because I had created two days of routine and schedule with flowers & it felt SO WEIRD to only have one job. We went camping in the UP for a few days and I slept 15 hours in a freaking tent with a 90lb Bernese Mountain Dog farting in my face and laying on me, to say my body wanted rest was an understatement.

Taking this leap is by far, one of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life. Second only to the time I para-sailed in the Straits of Mackinac live on TV, or reported from the top of a wind turbine and my knees were shaking so badly I had to kneel down while on camera, or the time I started choking on venison stew on live TV. We have worked our asses off all winter to prepare for this, budgets and crunching numbers & learning how this will work. And I’m sad too. Sad to leave 9&10 News and the family that I’ve been a part of for 6 years. But you never know unless you try.

I can’t write this without saying one thing; one of the scariest parts of all of this in the beginning was disappointing people. And I hope this rings true to one person out there. I studied Journalism in school. I was hell bent on market jumping and being on CNN and all the things. And then it changed. Am I settling? No. I’m doing what makes me happy. For weeks now I’ve had second thoughts. That stupid little projection of 'thinking people will be disappointed' is really just fear. I don’t want people to think my talents are being wasted. Girl studies to be a television reporter and ends up doing wedding flowers & building a small lavender farm and writing a blog and hosting a lot of dinner parties. But somehow, at the end of my life, I don’t think I am going to think about the liveshots I missed, or hours I spent working, or getting recognized in the grocery store, or the weddings, or the flowers, or the blog, I think I am going to really think about the time I spent with my family. Being there for them in the moments that were so fleeting. Being able to be present, and show them hard work in a way that means running your own company. I’ll think about the people. The time you spend with people you love.

Let's not dance around the elephant in the room, being able to be the boss of two companies, annnddd go on field trips with my kids one day is a motivating factor in this. Matt and I both were lucky enough to have moms who worked from home and had the flexibility to turn on another episode of "Price is Right" when we were sick, be a 'room mom', shuttle us to our gazillion practices and rehearsals and also follow their passions.  (THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT CALM DOWN) 

The timing in all of this is purposeful. We want to grow the business even more, before we start a family. I want to take some time before the busy season to really put systems in place that will work.

The most interesting part of this for me, is that what I learned I love the MOST about what I do in this world, I learned from tv. Making people happy. Bringing people together. Sharing the story.

I was in Meijer one day checking out with some groceries. It was during the time I was on the live show. And a man tapped me on the shoulder. He waved and smiled. I waved and smiled back. He started signing to me. He was deaf. He drew a tv and then pointed to me. I smiled and nodded. He held a fake microphone and laughed. I laughed. Then, he frantically ran over to his daughter. She was maybe 12. And he began signing to her. She came over and said, “my dad wants to let you know, that he watches you every morning & even though he can’t hear you, you make him so happy because you are always happy and smiling. He says thank you.” I burst into tears.

Making people happy. Making people, for a split second, not think about all the really shitty parts about life. Telling the story.

And oddly enough, it is my time spent as the morning reporter for 9&10 that really showed me what creative entrepreneurship is and how you can create your own life in Northern Michigan and make it. I met SO many amazing business owners, many who are still friends today, who had crazy awesome badass stories of leaving a job to pursue a passion and live up north.

So there you have it.  Now that this is my full-time gig, I am able to pursue some projects that have long been tabled. I cannot wait to share them with you. I’ll also probably say the word shit on here a bit more. Other than that, I’m not sure what will change. Its super super weird to work for yourself.  

A lot of you knew this was coming, those of you who are closest to me. You’ve sat with me for many glasses of wine as I mulled it all over and told you I was hella scared and that starting your own business is freakishly weird and then it making enough money to fully support yourself is even weirder. But here is what I know, if I don’t take this leap- I’ll always wonder ‘what if?’

Matt, my love. I never lose sight of the fact that a large part of me being able to take this leap is because of you busting your ass on the daily for our family. Thank you for believing in me, in us. Being your teammate is without a doubt, the best part of my life. Thank you for being scared too, but not as scared as I am. Thank you for reminding me that if the sky falls and I suddenly cannot do any of this- I’m still talented at a million other things and ‘we will be fine.’ Thank you for also just getting me when I say things like, “I’m ordering a lighting kit to build a video studio in the dining room.” And thank you for telling me we do not need 80 different colors of ribbon in the floral studio, we need to pay our mortgage.

Maybe you’re reading this and you want to do the same. Leave your ‘real job’ for one that you start up. You want to be able to be your own boss. You want to be able to create your schedule and work for yourself and drive your ship through the shitstorm and the really beautiful parts. .You'll know when its time. Like 2 years ago, while driving home from our first wedding, I was all cocky about leaving and doing flowers full time, it just wasn’t going to work. You’ll get there. I promise. But you need to work two full-time jobs for a while before you can leave one for another. But it will happen a lot faster than you imagine if you want it to. Pro tip: find your 'magic number' and then get there. No matter what it takes. 

And so Friday I’ll go to my desk at the 9&10 office and pack up all my things. I’ll go from having 2 cell phones to one. I will most likely take some time off from eyeliner. And Monday I’ll wake up, and work for myself. I’ll be the CEO, CFO, Manager, Team Leader, Janitor, Designer, Bookkeeper, Marketing Dept & more. But really I’ll just be a girl who wanted something different for herself, so she busted her ass to make it happen.

If you’ve got questions, or ideas, or comments, or just want to say ‘wait, you stood on top of a wind turbine on live TV?’ send me an email friend kalinsheick@gmail.com I am an open book, and now- even more so.

Thanks for following along, its time for page one to our next chapter. I can’t wait.

Xo

K

on the dead cat.

"PS: there's a dead cat in front of your driveway... super sad." 

That is the text my friend sent me the other night when she left our house. I peered out the window from my bedroom, too dark to see outside. Damn cat. 

I woke up this morning and he was still there. The black cat, flattened in the middle of our road, two feet from the end of our driveway. I recognized him as the same cat that Matt found sleeping in our garage the other day when he pulled in from work. We had left the garage open and the warm cement floor in the sunshine must have felt nice. 

Two days later we were driving to town and I saw him running out of another barn on our road, darting around a dairy farm. 

"That's him" Matt said. 

He probably never saw it coming, cars drive fast on our road. No lights out here. He was probably tough to see too, a little shadow darting out in front of whoever was speeding over to their Saturday night destination. 

"Why am I crying?" I asked Matt as he carefully pulled the van around him on our way to Home Depot. "I don't even like cats." 

There are a handful of barn cats that rotate between our farm, the neighbors, and the other neighbors. We've all got giant barns with hay and protection from the wind. Last I heard our neighbors were keeping their chickens over the winter so they've got heat and food and water. We don't pet these things, or feed them, or even really look after them. I see a cat only on rare occasion as it runs from one hiding spot to the other. There's even one with half a back leg, like it never grew properly, or he got knicked by a car early on. He's faster than hell, with those three & 1/2 legs. I call him 'stumpy.' (I know. Horrible.) 

But the black cat dead at the end of the driveway was so sad to me. He probably had the best day. Saturday had been 50 degrees and sunny. I imagine all the mice on the planet were out to shake off their winter dust and it was like an all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet in the barn. "Another round of mice Rangoon!"

He never saw it coming. We almost never do. Love. Death. Change. The end of a friendship. The car zooming down the road. All the major forces in our life are sort of just waiting in the background to slap us across the face to remind us that we won't live forever, and our time is limited, and we really are not in control. 

I've been SUPER into manifesting everything lately. Even more so than normal. Call it crazy, I don't care. I'm a firm believer that you aren't going to get the things you want in life by believing they will never happen and you're unworthy and its crazy to dream big and blah- ew----I do not associate with people like this. #exhausting 

Sure. Stuff takes time. But if you're so wanting to change your life- what are you really waiting for? Don't go be all crazy and quit your day job and start selling your button jewelry full time just yet. But put the plan into motion to make it work. Sell the button jewelry on weekends and nights and early mornings and still punch that card each day at your desk. You can make the change happen. And before you know it, Rachel Ray will be wearing that button jewelry on TV and you'll be on vacation sipping a pina colada saying, "ahhhh thank you button jewelry." 

I used a snow shovel to pick up the cat. "Sorry little guy. I really am." I sniffled and walked down the road with him in the shovel. A car passed. Filled with kids and probably on their way to church. I chuckled. I'm morbid.

The tall girl dressed all in black carrying the dead black cat in a snow shovel. At least her sunglasses were cute. 

I gently put him in a little brush spot just off the road. "Coyotes you can come out now" I yelled into the woods. Let's hope. 

Mr. Black Cat didn't wake up yesterday knowing it would be his last day on this planet. I don't even think cats have the mental capacity to think of such things. But none of us ever will wake up and know for sure. 

Go eat at the buffet, or make the jewelry, or whatever it is you want.

xo

K

 

on January.

(Yo, I've decided to attempt at doing a monthly round up here on the blog for my own selfish reasons that I need to catalog a bit better our year for a year in review project. Here ya go.)

Last month felt like it lasted 8 weeks. It wasn't bad. In fact, there was a LOT of good. But it felt like we did so much that it couldn't only just be January - right?

We rang in the New Year with me sleeping in bed by 10:00 pm. That week I struggled to fall back into a routine post holiday, anyone else? I felt discombobulated and all over the place. Pilates has helped me really establish a bit of 'regular' ness into my week and that week in class, thanks to all the treats and over indulging, I made one-too-many weird grunting noises during our workout. #justbeinghonest.

That weekend I shot down to Grand Rapids to shop for a wedding dress with my sister. My mom & gram joined us and it was a whirlwind 24 hours that was a ton of fun. My sister found a gorgeous dress & I got to really settle into my role of 'married sister who is a maid of honor but really is just bossy and likes drinking champagne."

The following week I flew down to Florida with my Mom to help her get all settled in the condo for the next few months. Tons of funny mother-daughter time as we navigated the endless sea of Strip Mall USA to find what we needed. She's a dedicated workhorse to her writing, which was a good lesson for me in sitting down and doing the work- so we both got lots done, but I took a LOT of 'I'm going to go walk on the beach' breaks. ;) 

While in Florida we got word that Matt was going to have surgery the next week. This came as a surprise as we had it on our calendar for Feb. 24 but the doctor decided he wanted to operate earlier on Matt's hand. Now, as a planner, one who likes an organized calendar and having things way ahead in my mind, having the doctor tell us he wanted to operate in 5 days did not bode well for my ability to just 'go with the flow.' It wasn't like doc wanted to casually meet for dinner in town and could we make it? It was like, I'm gonna slice your hand open and remove a tumor in 5 days- hope your schedule can allow. 

And so, last Wednesday I made a LOT of friends at the hospital and we got everything taken care of. Matt couldn't drive until Sunday, so being a personal taxi service was funny / interesting. I had a brief moment when I dropped him at school on Friday morning and it cramped my daily schedule when I thought, "oh my god- I am going to be the worst mom ever one day- I am way too selfish for this shit." But I'm over that now because, I'll be a great mom someday because I'm fiercely loyal, loving & messy. I'll just need some time to figure out the whole 'I am a personal taxi driver thing. 

Saturday I was fortunate enough to be invited to speak at the Northern Michigan Small Farm Conference in Traverse City. I actually thought there would be like, 12 people at my session, to my surprise there were many many more. I was overwhelmed in the best way and got to tell our story, give some of my favorite growing tips, talk a lot about lavender & explain the whole idea behind our roadside flower stand. A big thank you to everyone who sat through the talk and didn't mind my weird pacing of the stage with mic in hand and upper lip sweat. 

I was whipped Saturday. It felt like we had been going non stop for 2 weeks - and when I woke up at 9:45 on Sunday morning my suspicions were confirmed. I needed the giant sleep and a day where we did really nothing except have Matt practice driving us to lunch. 

Oh January- we were socked with snow, it all melted, and now its back. The snowmobilers have not returned, which is nice. The farm is muddy and quiet and pretty ugly right now. I like it that way.  Its bitterly cold. The staircase & upstairs hallways are finally painted. Slow and steady on the home improvement game, which has been rewarding.

I posted on my Instagram stories the other day about what I have officially named, "The January Ass Drag" and I realized I am not alone. Although February is now here, I feel like these last 8 days especially it has been a literal CHORE getting my butt up in the morning. Yes Mom, I'm taking my vitamins and working out and eating healthy and all the things. I am not alone- I got tons of responses to my story and it seems all of us are just tired. It's probably the weather, no sunshine makes it tougher to function. BUT there is a silver lining beautiful people: its light out a LOT longer right now. I can start seeing outside around 7am! And in the evening its comfortably light out until like 6:20! This is a big deal! The darkness is behind us. Before we know it I'll be sweating out there planting lavender and designing blooms. Yay.

xo

K

PS- Love someone? Live in or near Petoskey? We are selling flowers for Valentine's Day on Saturday February 11th at North Perk Coffee downtown. Drop on by and support your local female owned business. xo